Destination Jesus 2016: I am REDEEMED.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, and you are mine.”

Isaiah 43:1

What a weekend! I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to chaperone (am I old enough for that?) the Destination Jesus retreat this past weekend with my youth ministry from St. Elizabeth Seton. That retreat kick-started my personal relationship with Christ when I was a freshman in high school, and it played a major role in my faith journey during high school. It was an interesting experience to return to that retreat after growing so much in my faith and deepening my relationship with Jesus during college. So much has changed, and yet I still got excited about a lot of the same parts of the retreat. While my excitement may have been similar to my excitement in high school, my perspective on the Catholic Church’s teachings and on the love and mercy of God has changed more than I can possibly express.

I have a few favorite things about the retreat that I would like to share, and because there is definitely a Type A person inside of me in some capacity, I’ll share in a list:

The focus on the Eucharist

Jesus was literally at the entire retreat. The Eucharist was exposed in some capacity for all but the first hour and half of the retreat, and that was beautiful. Jesus was in the worship area, the chapel, or the sleeping areas during the whole weekend, and I absolutely loved that. This retreat helped me to understand Jesus’ presence (body, blood, soul, and divinity) in the Eucharist, and I’m really glad that all of these high school students are given the opportunity to experience Jesus on the retreat in such a tangible way. The speakers, the priests, the religious, the emcee… they were constantly reminding us about the fact that our focus should always be on Jesus. It was beautiful.

Saturday night is the “big night” of the retreat because of the Eucharistic Procession. I have a difficult time explaining the emotional experience of this part of the retreat because there is something inexplicably powerful about this night, and I have witnessed the impact that night has on young people, including myself. My experience during this event this year was very different than it was in high school. When I attended DJ in high school, I was still trying to grasp the concept of Jesus being present in the Eucharist. I didn’t go to Adoration regularly like I do now, so I really only attended Adoration at DJ. During this event, I spent most of my time accepting the fact that the host was truly Jesus, and this belief consumed my heart (in the best way possible) during the procession. Now, I don’t doubt that Jesus is physically present in the Eucharist, so my prayer experience was much more focused on specific prayer intentions. I experienced a lot of freedom after doing my penance from Confession during this time of Adoration, and that was one of my favorite moments of the night.

Audrey Assad’s women’s talk

Woah. That’s the first word that comes to mind. I’ve heard a lot of talks throughout my time at retreats, conferences, and other ministry events, and her talk easily ranks in my top three. She opened up so vulnerably and compassionately about her struggles with a pornography and masturbation addiction (among other topics), and I think all the women, younger and older, needed to hear that. Pornography is a hot topic right now, particularly with young Catholics, but even in the Church, the advice and help is almost always directed towards the men, which makes it seem like a woman who struggles with that is odd or singled out. When she spoke about the effects of porn on our idea of self-worth and understanding of sexuality, she spoke about a woman’s sexuality in relation to herself. That is the first time I’ve ever heard someone talk about sexuality that way. Usually, when chastity speakers (although I wouldn’t classify Audrey in that category) discuss sexuality, it’s always in relation to another person. “Your sexuality is a gift to another,” or “We must be chaste with our significant others.” But what about with ourselves? I appreciated her approach because it finally approached chastity as a personal issue as opposed to something we have to face only in a relationship.

Audrey also spoke about the infinite love and mercy of Jesus and how His mercy can overcome any sin we face in our lives. She did a beautiful job of combining music and prayer, which I sometimes struggle with. But she bridged the two so beautifully. Together, we all sang these words over and over:

You delight in showing mercy.

Mercy triumphs over judgment.

You could feel the women in the room truly believe those words as we sang them together. Instead of a restlessness from sitting too long, there was an emotional restlessness in the room, and singing these words together brought a beautiful sense of peace to the room. It was the perfect way to prepare our hearts for Jesus to come into the room in the Eucharist.

I have to say that I’ve been beyond excited to hear Audrey Assad speak and see her perform because she is my favorite Christian/Catholic artist, and I’ve heard amazing things about her talks. I may or may not have had a fangirl moment when I saw her walk out of the speaker’s lounge at the high school. It took a lot of self control not to squeal and follow her down the hallway. While I never got a picture with her, I am very thankful to have had the chance to see her sing and pray with her and experience the gift of music that God has blessed her with. Her new CD, Inheritance, was released Friday, and I can’t stop listening to it. It’s very meditative and beautiful, and I highly recommend it. And if you ever get the opportunity to hear her talk or see her perform, do it. You won’t regret it.

Presence of Priests and Religious

They were everywhere! It was awesome! There’s something so… I don’t know, peaceful? Relieving? I don’t know. I just feel so safe and comforted by the presence of so many priests and sisters and seminarians. They give young people a realistic sense of those vocations, and I absolutely love it. This year, for the first time, I knew four seminarians, and that was really exciting. Two of them are close friends of mine, and I have to admit that I got a little emotional when I saw them in their cassocks. I’m so proud of them. At my parish, we don’t have any religious sisters, so I was grateful that two different orders of sisters (Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia and Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration) were there for the retreat. The joy that these people find in their vocation is inspiring.

Even though I’m physically and emotionally exhausted from the weekend, I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to attend the retreat as a post-college adult. Returning to the place where it all began has shown me how far I’ve come in my faith and has inspired me to keep pressing forward. Also, I'd like to give a special shoutout to my friend Bailey, who I got to spend the weekend with. She and I have been friends since freshman year of high school, and we attended DJ together two or three times (we couldn't remember!). It is truly a blessing to have friends of faith, and I loved spending so much time with her and growing in faith and friendship. There are so many challenges facing young people in the world today, particularly Catholic teens, whose views and faith do not match up with what society teaches them about their worth, dignity, beauty, and joy. This retreat, while only a few days, has the ability to help teens face their brokenness and let God open up their hearts and pour in his healing mercy and love. Please pray for young people everywhere--they are hungry for the truth and hungry for real joy and peace in their lives. The only place we will ever find lasting joy and peace is with the Lord, and the best time to start learning that is right now.