Patience, Pain, and Plans: reflections on the words of St. Faustina

(858)

During Vespers, I saw the Lord Jesus, who looked sweetly and profoundly into my soul. My daughter, have patience; it won’t be long now. That profound look and those words filled my soul with strength and power, courage and extraordinary trust that I would carry out everything He was demanding of me, despite such tremendous difficulties, and [filled me with] a special conviction that the Lord is with me and that with Him I can do all things. All the powers on earth and in hell are as nothing to me. Everything must fall before the power of His Name. I entrust everything into Your hands, O my Lord and God. Sole Commander of my soul, direct me according to Your eternal desires.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

The print in bold was bolded that way in the copy of her diary I was reading, but I don’t think it needed to be bold stand out from the page. I was in Adoration, asking God, “When is it my turn?” and I opened St. Faustina’s diary to this passage. Coincidence? I think not. (And I most definitely heard that in the voice of Dash’s teacher from The Incredibles. In case you wanted to know.) I want to look at three specific parts of this passage and reflect on how God was using those words to speak to me in prayer.

1. “Have patience; it won’t be long now.”

So often, we talk about living on God’s time instead of ours, but I don’t like the word instead. I want my time and God’s time to be the same time. And the only way to make this happen is to hand my life (and the clock that goes with it) over to Christ and let Him run the show. Sounds easy, right? Not. We must practice patience as God was asking St. Faustina to do, and we must practice this every day. How do we practice patience regarding long-term plans (i.e. spouses, careers, grad school offers, etc.)? I like to think that practicing patience with little things will help us grow in patience for the bigger things. Here are some practical examples I have found in my daily life:

Practice patience in heavy/slow traffic. Everyone around you is also trying to get somewhere.
Be patient with professors as they grade exams and papers. They, like us, are human and may have more going on in their lives than you know about.
Patiently await responses to text messages and emails, particularly when you’re talking to someone you’re interested in :) We are all living lives beyond our phones (I hope…), and we need to focus our energy on productive things instead of be consumed by read receipts.

2. “I would carry out everything He was demanding of me, despite such tremendous difficulties…”

I don’t even know how to explain how hard this hit me when I read it. As I mentioned, I was in Adoration, and, related to the prayer asking God about my turn, I was praying for the ability to let go of a part of my life and a situation that had put me through a lot of pain and emotional stress. During the time that I’ve been dealing with this situation, God has still demanded a lot of me as a student, as a leader in campus ministry, as a friend, as a music professional, and as a Catholic. “Despite such tremendous difficulties,” I know that I must continue forward in my life and pray without ceasing as St. Paul instructed the Thessalonians to do. When I was angry with God, I would pray. When I was feeling a little better about things, I would pray. When I was confused about everything (which was pretty much all the time), I would pray. My prayer life changed immensely during this time because I wasn’t praying as part of a routine; I was praying out of necessity. And doing that taught me that praying constantly is a necessity. I can only carry out what God asks of me and bear the cross He is asking me to bear if I’m in tune with Him in prayer.

3. “...direct me according to Your eternal desires.”

If the goal on Earth is to get to heaven, our life goals should be goals that lead us down a holy path. The holiest path we can take is the one that God has paved for us according to His plans and desires for our lives. Sometimes, when God’s grace overflows in my heart and His plan for that moment seems crystal clear, I feel like I’m flying down this path. Other times, I feel like I’m unwillingly trudging through mud on this path because I’m hesitant to trust God’s work in my life. There are also times when I’m skipping merrily down a path that God did not pave, and I usually find a brick wall to run into that shoves me back onto the path God actually made for me. That’s always fun. Just like we are called to align our clock with God’s clock, we are called to align our goals and plans with His goals and plans. We know that God has a magnificent plan for our life, but do we truly trust that He does? Do we hand over our entire selves to him or do we hand over most of ourselves and hold back the part that we want to protect? Let go of all of yourself, and He will direct you down a path rich with grace, peace, and love.

Like I mentioned, it was no coincidence that I read St. Faustina’s words that day. I needed to hear them, however difficult it was to take them to heart. I pray that we can practice patience, bear our crosses with continued love of Christ, and let God direct our lives according to His plan. He has an amazing future planned for each of us, so let’s allow Him to do His work in our lives.